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These are men who find me attractive, but are initially hesitant because of my trans-ness.
With these men, I went on dates in public at the movies, or a chill restaurant, and I was viewed as more than a new sexual experience—but I don’t think I was seen as potential relationship material either. We vibed well and there was sexual tension building during our dates. After a month, he reached out to me saying he couldn’t be with me because I am transgender.
These guys want to chill somewhere less public or exclusively at their place so they won’t be seen with me.
I have actually “dated” (if you can even call it that) some of these men, including one guy who checked his apartment’s hallway to make sure his neighbours wouldn’t see me leave his place.
Red flags like continually postponing dates and constantly asking, “When are you getting the surgery?
With these kind of guys, I’ve felt like I was their dirty little secret, and at first, I thought this type of interaction was the closest thing to a relationship I was going to have as a trans woman.
But I finally reached my limit when one of my dates bumped into someone he knew when we were together.
” helped me whittle down the number of guys I talked to by half.
Thanks to Tinder, profile pictures say more than a thousand words—and actual words seem to be irrelevant on our profiles.However, I recently went on a date with a guy who was tall, handsome, funny and had his shit (relatively) together. I responded saying it was all over my Ok Cupid profile, which it turns out he never read.We met in the late afternoon and enjoyed our frozen yogurt in perfect patio weather. At the end of the date, our first kiss quickly turned into a handsy makeout session in the backseat of my car. He said, “I’m bouncing; that’s f-cked up,” and jumped out of the car, spat on the ground, slammed the car door and walked away.I get plenty of matches on Tinder, but within 24 hours around half of them un-match or block me after reading my profile.